I am heading back to the community this evening for my final 4 weeks here. Sorry I have not been able to post more details, but we had internet down here for two days, and now I am on my way out! If you don't hear from me until I leave the weekend before I return-April 17th, please don't be alarmed, just keep lifting us up. I don't know if the internet will be fixed in the home before I leave, but I should have quick access in Delhi to let you know I am on my way... In the meantime...
Now that my time left is fast approaching-with just one month remaining!- I am struck so often with the struggle of finishing my time here well and persevering in what matters most. I don’t want to think of leaving this place, and yet my longing to return home keeps me eagerly looking forward to April. Sometimes I just want to get the goodbyes over with-especially since I just went through it 4 months ago! As Deb and I were talking one morning, she reminded me that it is not goodbye, it is just “see you later!” Even so, it will be difficult to say so long for now, not knowing when later will come. Oh how my heart aches for eternity when there will be no more tears from these dreaded farewells-for never again will I have to say goodbye!
I have learned so many things I would love to apply in pursuing further experience and education so that I can be better equipped in the future. From my first few weeks here I have gone from feeling completely unprepared, overwhelmed, in over my head, to now the difficulty of leaving a place where I have been so blessed and strengthened. He has taught me so much about myself, and above all my walk with Him in each day. I trust Him to provide just the right job and even to guide me in pursuit of education, but I want to ask for you all to be joining me in pr, that I would see clearly His guidance and always seek His understanding above my own. I hate to leave this place not knowing when I’ll return, but then we never really know what each day will have in store do we? Even when we make our plans, He sets our paths straight.
So I guess what I would request is that you ask Him to help me see what is His purpose in each day I have left here, and that He would prepare me to pursue the next steps-opening and closing doors as He has in the past year. Along with this is the need for trusting Him with the people I am leaving behind, and that He would provide someone else to come alongside them to help and fill in. There is so much need here. For the past few years I have heard about Amy C, but never actually picked up and finished one of her books or one about her-now I have almost finished two and I am wondering what took me so long! My thoughts over the past several years have echoed some of hers, and while I cannot pretend to have the same courage or gifts she possessed, I ask Him to change my selfish and prideful heart to be more like the one He put in Amy-for whatever purpose He wills. In the meantime, her questions, pleas and testimony have been an encouragement and a challenge in the times I have felt so alone here.
In all things, I know He has and will be my supply. As I prepare to make the journey home there are so many things I want to say, most of which I look forward to sharing with many of you in person, but for now I rest in the fact that He will lead each one of us home. Please do ask Him to be my peace as I return, and that the long journey home would be a time to reflect and thank Him, sharing the time with Him, trusting Him to lead me home safely.
Loving you all and looking forward to sharing more with you soon... So long for NOW!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
When Words Fail...
Romans 12:1 has been the passage for the last two messages I have heard from JP with not only a challenging reminder, but also an encouraging one. Titled “Present Your Bodies…” it reminded me that talk is cheap, and what we demonstrate in our behaviors is most telling. What an encouragement this gave when so often I have felt so lost for words because of the language barrier! The few phrases I know in Hindi just cannot communicate the depth of love and truth I want to share, but praise to Him who can and is able to use even me in my weakness. Let me not get in the way in my unbelief and selfishness!
Another example of how understanding language has been both a barrier and a blessing came a few weeks back. It was just after I had e-mailed you all with my frustration to understand His purpose and struggling to feel at home here. I returned to the community and one of the staff who just moved in after I arrived-Richa, the house-keeper and cook here- was feeling a little overwhelmed. She was expressing to me how she wanted to tell me, but could not because of the language. Richa cannot write or read Hindi or English, and speaks about as much English as I do Hindi, and yet she is the person I have connected with the most here in the community. She has been through so much for someone so young, and I can see she has a tender heart.
She used a word- “bogue” – which I had not heard before and could not find in my small dictionary. A few days later she was again trying to express herself, and another staff member looked up this word for us in a bigger Hindi-English dictionary that translated it as “over-worked.” What I was able to understand is that it was more than just being over-worked and stressed that she was feeling, but feeling the heavy weight of frustration with too much expectation from certain people. Oh how I could relate to this feeling in that moment and understand what she was struggling with.
In her broken English she proceeded to explain to me why and how she felt this “bogue,” and her tears were so refreshing after the countless times I had tried to express the reason for my tears. It seemed that since I had been able to express my frustration and tears to her in the past, she was able to openly share with me. By His grace, I was able to be the listener she needed, and then to pr over her for the weight to be lifted, and for His easy yoke to be placed on her, that He would strengthen her for the work she has. She expressed to me the next day that she was doing much better and we both praised Him together for helping us face each new day! What a gift this was and I hope is just one more seed planted in her heart.
It has been such a gift for us to have each other and be not only an encouragement to one another but also an example of relationships crossing the boundaries of language and culture. I am just amazed at how He is at work in this friendship and am asking He will continue the work long after I leave this place. Please do keep her in your thoughts as you lift us up.
Another example of how understanding language has been both a barrier and a blessing came a few weeks back. It was just after I had e-mailed you all with my frustration to understand His purpose and struggling to feel at home here. I returned to the community and one of the staff who just moved in after I arrived-Richa, the house-keeper and cook here- was feeling a little overwhelmed. She was expressing to me how she wanted to tell me, but could not because of the language. Richa cannot write or read Hindi or English, and speaks about as much English as I do Hindi, and yet she is the person I have connected with the most here in the community. She has been through so much for someone so young, and I can see she has a tender heart.
She used a word- “bogue” – which I had not heard before and could not find in my small dictionary. A few days later she was again trying to express herself, and another staff member looked up this word for us in a bigger Hindi-English dictionary that translated it as “over-worked.” What I was able to understand is that it was more than just being over-worked and stressed that she was feeling, but feeling the heavy weight of frustration with too much expectation from certain people. Oh how I could relate to this feeling in that moment and understand what she was struggling with.
In her broken English she proceeded to explain to me why and how she felt this “bogue,” and her tears were so refreshing after the countless times I had tried to express the reason for my tears. It seemed that since I had been able to express my frustration and tears to her in the past, she was able to openly share with me. By His grace, I was able to be the listener she needed, and then to pr over her for the weight to be lifted, and for His easy yoke to be placed on her, that He would strengthen her for the work she has. She expressed to me the next day that she was doing much better and we both praised Him together for helping us face each new day! What a gift this was and I hope is just one more seed planted in her heart.
It has been such a gift for us to have each other and be not only an encouragement to one another but also an example of relationships crossing the boundaries of language and culture. I am just amazed at how He is at work in this friendship and am asking He will continue the work long after I leave this place. Please do keep her in your thoughts as you lift us up.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Good News!
Other news:
-Finally the Generator is connected and working-see picture! It was used so much one week with the colder weather still hanging on and no power, it even ran out of kerosene already-which meant a few days without it because of how long it takes just to get gas or kerosene when we finish it. So thankful to have it!
-The boys are in the middle of exams-means a lot more time spent helping them study in preparation and lots of pr for them to focus and apply all they are learning
-In this last month:
• I am currently in my last full week now here at the hospital-saying goodbyes and making every minute count, taking opportunity to step in wherever I can
• Teaching with families and staff-making posters for the staff to use. I need a lot of wisdom regarding what and how to present the most important information without it being an overload. Most of it will just be tools the staff can use after I am gone, but still I just need wisdom for how to make these tools appropriate for the level of education of these families and their capabilities considering their poverty and limited resources.
• Deb is traveling to train staff in another state-gone for a week, so pr for protection for those of us staying back at the house. Final travels home-my flight leaves April 18th!
• One of the boys who comes to the intervention program during the week who lost so much weight in the winter, Sunny, has been coming more consistently (at least 1-2 times a week!)-Praise! As a result I have been able to start him on a vitamin and protein supplement that can help him gain weight lost and fight infection-he is significantly under weight and comes from a very poor community where poor hygiene and living conditions combine to spread infection and malnutrition. Pr for him and his family, for his body to respond to the vitamins, and for him to continue to come to the school program here regularly enough to get these vitamins and recover well.
• The boys in the home are progressing slowly with piano lessons, and I believe the discipline they are learning in practicing piano and the connections music makes in the brain can and will help these boys with their studies and to develop behaviors that can help them grow to live for Him. The other children in the home light up when any of us are playing the piano; I hope music can continue to bless this home and provide another way for Him to be lifted up in each of these lives.
• I have seen signs of improvement with these kids since starting them on vitamins (those in the home and coming each week to the day program), but of course continue to pr for the families and staff to be able to take over and watch for signs of problems. Ask Him to help the staff and families remember to keep the kids on these and apply the little teaching I have given. Above all, pr that the seeds planted through songs, verses, stories and devotion times with the kids would continue to grow.
The newest addition to the family moved in last week and has settled in remarkably well! PRAISE! Just pr for continued adjusting and especially discerning any health issues and assessment needs. He is a sweetheart and has been through so much at just 5 years!
-Finally the Generator is connected and working-see picture! It was used so much one week with the colder weather still hanging on and no power, it even ran out of kerosene already-which meant a few days without it because of how long it takes just to get gas or kerosene when we finish it. So thankful to have it!
-The boys are in the middle of exams-means a lot more time spent helping them study in preparation and lots of pr for them to focus and apply all they are learning
-In this last month:
• I am currently in my last full week now here at the hospital-saying goodbyes and making every minute count, taking opportunity to step in wherever I can
• Teaching with families and staff-making posters for the staff to use. I need a lot of wisdom regarding what and how to present the most important information without it being an overload. Most of it will just be tools the staff can use after I am gone, but still I just need wisdom for how to make these tools appropriate for the level of education of these families and their capabilities considering their poverty and limited resources.
• Deb is traveling to train staff in another state-gone for a week, so pr for protection for those of us staying back at the house. Final travels home-my flight leaves April 18th!
• One of the boys who comes to the intervention program during the week who lost so much weight in the winter, Sunny, has been coming more consistently (at least 1-2 times a week!)-Praise! As a result I have been able to start him on a vitamin and protein supplement that can help him gain weight lost and fight infection-he is significantly under weight and comes from a very poor community where poor hygiene and living conditions combine to spread infection and malnutrition. Pr for him and his family, for his body to respond to the vitamins, and for him to continue to come to the school program here regularly enough to get these vitamins and recover well.
• The boys in the home are progressing slowly with piano lessons, and I believe the discipline they are learning in practicing piano and the connections music makes in the brain can and will help these boys with their studies and to develop behaviors that can help them grow to live for Him. The other children in the home light up when any of us are playing the piano; I hope music can continue to bless this home and provide another way for Him to be lifted up in each of these lives.
• I have seen signs of improvement with these kids since starting them on vitamins (those in the home and coming each week to the day program), but of course continue to pr for the families and staff to be able to take over and watch for signs of problems. Ask Him to help the staff and families remember to keep the kids on these and apply the little teaching I have given. Above all, pr that the seeds planted through songs, verses, stories and devotion times with the kids would continue to grow.
The newest addition to the family moved in last week and has settled in remarkably well! PRAISE! Just pr for continued adjusting and especially discerning any health issues and assessment needs. He is a sweetheart and has been through so much at just 5 years!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
At Last!!
Finally! Once again I am learning how to put my trust in Him and not my own plans or schedule. Every day holds a new surprise and carries with it the lesson of leaning not on my own understanding, but seeking Him and His purpose for each day. I was once so comfortable with my busy schedule and list of things to do each day-knowing it would never be finished in one day. Usually I am a foolish procrastinator, but where there is less opportunity for distraction here in the usual ways, I am learning to take advantage of those opportunities to dive into the Word and reading books I have never gotten around to. I am learning so much!
Due to the delay, I will first update you with the most recent happenings, and hopefully later this week post some reflections of events in the past few weeks worth sharing. This past week, the open house finally took place to celebrate His provision with family, friends, and community. Before this though, Lakshmi (my roommate) and Debbie arrived safely back home with our new addition-Joshua. He is more autistic than we had originally been informed, but is adjusting surprisingly well. The children in the home are also adjusting better than expected. It is going to be difficult to get him to take vitamins or other medication to help with some of the bowel, skin and behavior problems he has, not to mention food he needs for both. We are hoping once he adjusts and settles in we can find something for him that he likes. In the meantime keep praying for his transition and progress in the home, and for all of us to adjust.
I have no new requests, but to ask you to continue to lift us up to Him. There are days where I can sense physically that you are lifting me up to Him, and I am so thankful to have you here with me. I have been so blessed in the past weeks by the encouragement of those around me, and witnessing ways in which once again He was and is at work despite my great weakness. It is bitter-sweet to be in the final stretch of my time here, eager to return to all of you and share in person what a gift He has given me here, and my heart for what I hope is in the future. At the same time, I want to take advantage of every day I have left here and know it is going to be very hard to stay away long enough to finish the preparation I believe He is asking me to do from home. He still has much to teach me and change in me before I am able to dive in fully here-in His will and time. I don’t want to forget what He has taught me or change my mind about the direction He is taking me from here, and yet still to trust Him in every step that He has me right where He wants me and is using me.
Specific details to come, I hope some pictures, and sweet stories of His Power perfected in weakness.
Due to the delay, I will first update you with the most recent happenings, and hopefully later this week post some reflections of events in the past few weeks worth sharing. This past week, the open house finally took place to celebrate His provision with family, friends, and community. Before this though, Lakshmi (my roommate) and Debbie arrived safely back home with our new addition-Joshua. He is more autistic than we had originally been informed, but is adjusting surprisingly well. The children in the home are also adjusting better than expected. It is going to be difficult to get him to take vitamins or other medication to help with some of the bowel, skin and behavior problems he has, not to mention food he needs for both. We are hoping once he adjusts and settles in we can find something for him that he likes. In the meantime keep praying for his transition and progress in the home, and for all of us to adjust.
I have no new requests, but to ask you to continue to lift us up to Him. There are days where I can sense physically that you are lifting me up to Him, and I am so thankful to have you here with me. I have been so blessed in the past weeks by the encouragement of those around me, and witnessing ways in which once again He was and is at work despite my great weakness. It is bitter-sweet to be in the final stretch of my time here, eager to return to all of you and share in person what a gift He has given me here, and my heart for what I hope is in the future. At the same time, I want to take advantage of every day I have left here and know it is going to be very hard to stay away long enough to finish the preparation I believe He is asking me to do from home. He still has much to teach me and change in me before I am able to dive in fully here-in His will and time. I don’t want to forget what He has taught me or change my mind about the direction He is taking me from here, and yet still to trust Him in every step that He has me right where He wants me and is using me.
Specific details to come, I hope some pictures, and sweet stories of His Power perfected in weakness.
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