Why does it have to hurt so much?

Over the past several years I have written numerous poems at different seasons, with very similar messages along these lines. Several of them relate to a joy or blessing received from Him, but most express the struggle of learning through fellowship in His sufferings. My intent is to post some of these poems in the coming weeks, but for now I want to share what He has been revealing to me over the past few years. I read recently about an individual who asked the question "Why does it have to hurt so much?" Before I get to the writers response to this question, I want to express the reason I have often asked this same question of our Almighty God.

It isn't that I have known the intense physical pain of a severe or chronic illness, nor that I have experienced a great deal of loss. In all honesty I have lived a very comfortable life. Sure, I have felt the sting of a goodbye I was not eager to say; this has made me long all the more for eternity, and I realize this longing is the very reason the sting cuts so deep. The most intense pain I think I've ever experienced though, is the burden for the suffering and sin in this world. Every day I am burdened by the weight of my own sin, and this week the sin and suffering of others I love or at least respect has been heavy on my heart.

In the past 10 years of my life, I have asked God several times to break my heart with what breaks His, and to help me see others through His eyes. If I had known then what I understand now, I'm not sure I would have ever asked Him. This burden is heavy, and I often don't lay it down as I should. However, what He has shown me through the hours of tears, time spent on my knees, and casting these cares on Him is that in this way, I can have fellowship in His Suffering. Does this mean I have fully understood His or anyone's suffering? By no means! I have not yet arrived, but at least in part I am starting to learn what it means to have fellowship in His suffering. Now, I can begin to understand the urgent need of our world for a Savior who rescues sinners.

Here is Elizabeth Elliot's response to that question "Why does it have to hurt so much?": "It hurts because it is suffering, real suffering. It would not be suffering if it did not hurt... None of us likes pain... Let's settle it once and for all: We cannot know Christ and the power of His resurrection without the fellowship of His suffering."

In no particular order, these all speak to the suffering we are called to endure as we walk in His steps: 1 Peter 2, Hebrews 2, Phil. 1:29 and 3:8-14, 2 Tim 2:3

An Aroma

This past week I have been so encouraged by God's gifts of grace; in particular, the way He uses us despite and even through our great weaknesses.

I find myself easily discouraged by the obstacles there are to sharing our faith in the workplace. Even after being trained at a Christian University, I have constantly wrestled with my greatest longing to share the hope of Christ with the hopeless I see every day. Reading through the book of Acts several times this past week, I have been challenged by the boldness of these early disciples to share their testimonies in the face of great oppression and danger. How can I be more bold for Christ without risking my job and losing one of the greatest opportunities for ministry?

During our middle school youth meetings we have been sharing the weekly prayer calendar from Voice of the Martyrs; we invite the youth to join us in prayers for these persecuted nations. Weekly I am astounded by the faith of the young and old in places where Christians are killed daily for accepting Christ or trying to share the Gospel. This weekend I had the privilege of going to a VOM conference and hearing the testimonies of God's work in those persecuted nations. He is alive and active around the world in miraculous ways! One of the greatest lessons from these testimonies was the mercy of the persecuted toward their persecutors; they still longed for their enemies to know Christ, and they forgave them without question! What or who can I possibly complain about in light of the persecuted church?

One of the speakers talked about the reality and inevitability of the threat to our freedom here in the US. Will we be ready when the day comes that we can no longer freely worship in public settings? Shouldn't the fact that our time is running out motivate us to share the Truth while we still can? Shouldn't it also draw us to our knees in thanksgiving for our freedom and prayer for the courage to use it?

This morning we had a guest pastor at church who shared pieces of his own experiences in some of these persecuted nations. He reminded us of the Truth of 2 Cor 2:15-16, that we are the Aroma of Christ wherever we are! I have been reminded of this fact as I have marveled at the ways God has opened doors for me to touch other people's lives; just this week a young student encouraged me that she wants to be like me in the way I love people-during a week where I have failed miserably at patience and grace in loving others. Every day I have this opportunity, no matter where I am or what I'm doing to be that sweet Aroma and carry the Victory of Christ. What a privilege and a joy-so undeserved!!